All photos on this blog taken by Adam Schwartz of the Two Hoser's Photo Show

Friday, December 16, 2011

Sibling Rivalry

We are knee deep in sibling rivalry at the Schwartz household right now.  The kids are very competitive about almost everything, but especially vying for my attention.  It is a fine balancing act, like walking on a  tight rope trying to keep everyone happy and feeling loved and adored.  I dole out snuggles and kisses and fist pumps and high fives like they are going out of style.

The Sibling Rivalry To Do List:

1.  Opening the door when we leave the house.
2.  Getting into the bath first.
3.  Getting out of the bath first (funny no one fights to get washed first)
4.  Choosing the morning t.v. show first.
5.  Sitting on Mommy's lap when stories are being read
6.  Getting your room chosen to have bedtime stories read in.
7.  Getting the first chocolate out of the advent mitten.
8.  Finding Fisbie (elf on a shelf) first.
9.  Being the lucky recipient of Mommy sitting in your room first when it is time to fall asleep.
10.  Getting the most snuggles from Mommy.

Now I know this is all completely normal and I am sure it happens in most families.  But, being the referee gets tiring and constantly trying to remember whose turn it is and who went first last time is down right exhausting.  I have been known to be the fair police.  I know that life is not fair, but in my job teaching kids and with my own kids I try to keep things as fair as possible.  I am learning that being fair is not necessarily equatable and the equal is not always fair.  This is hard for me wrap my brain around.  So it is no easy task for kids to accept either.  When Sarah sees Jack getting carried, she wants to be carried too.  When I try to explain why he is being carried and she isn't, she doesn't buy it at all.  She only sees him being carried as taking away from attention and love that she wants.  This has manifested itself into her refusing to dress herself or get into her pajamas on her own on many occasions recently.  Both tasks that she is perfectly capable of doing on her own.

So I am throwing it out there and asking for tips, tricks or advice.  What do you do in the face of sibling rivalry?  How do you keep it fair?

Happy Friday.  I am linking this post up with Let's BEE Friends hosted by the lovely Bruna over at Bees with Honey.
Let's BEE Friends


  1. Hmmm ... as the older sister in my family, I pretty much made my brother do what I wanted. Sorry Jack. *haha* Sidenote: My brother turned out rather well as said!

  2. Oh gosh. While reading his I was nodding and thinking, yes this is happening at our house too. I kept reading in hopes that you were going to offer advice for situation. Wish I could tell you what works here but so far, we haven't found anything. It's just me being the fair police and we end up with a 3 yr old who is too young to get it and a 5 yr old frustrated with her younger sister who wants to be first at EVERYTHING. Me first! Me first!

    Help here too!

  3. I never had to fight for anything and neither does my son. It is good to have rivalry. Embrace it!! Specially since they mostly fight over you. Very Hollywood!

  4. I am having to deal with sibling rivalry on a daily basis now. It's so tiring. They take turns to be first and I constantly remind them of their privileges. When it doesn't work, I scream.

  5. No advice, just empathy. I can see how that would get incredibly exhausting!

  6. It does get tiring doesn't it. I read your post and was happy to see it wasn't just me who was going nuts trying to remember who gets to do what first or doesn't have to do something first. No answers here, my girls at 8 & 10 and still going strong with most of the things on your list.

  7. Oh dear.. this sounds very exhausting. Luckily I won't have to worry about this for a long time, IF I end up having another child. Wishing you luck with it!

  8. Yup!! Over here too. Sometimes I just ignore it, sometimes I get right in the middle, and other times I'm all over the place. They are getting better about remembering whose turn it is to do something, which is nice because then I don't have to remember who opened the door last. Still, I think is just something that is part of the package of siblings so I do my very best to turn on my "la la la can't hear you" ears.